Buddy is brilliant.

Lately, if I’m holding him, I’ll look in his eyes and ask, “Where’s dad?”  He’ll then look around and find Nate and stare at him.  It’s amazing!  He’s done the  same thing for Aunt Dani, Uncle Ryan (aka “Uncle Wonderful”), Uncle Matt, and Cassidy too.

One afternoon, Nate figured he would give it a shot as well.  So, while sitting on the couch, he stood Buddy on his lap and asked, “Who’s your dad?”

Zach promptly arches his back and turns 180 degrees to face. . .

the TV.

hahahaha   Oh my.

Well today’s Thanksgiving and Nate is at work.  So, depending on how Nate’s day is going, Buddy & I will likely go out to his station for a visit.

Whatever your Thanksgiving day holds, I hope you’re enjoying it with family and friends.

Nate:  Ugh, my throat’s really sore.

Jenn:  Oh, I’m sorry! Let me get you some warm salt water to gargle with.

Nate:  Warm salt water?  Uhhh, ok.

(Jenn prepares warm salt water)

Jenn: Ok, so just take a gulp, gargle, then spit it out.

(Nate does so then makes the most disgusted look I’ve ever seen!  Then spits.)

Nate:  Ugh! That’s awful! Why are you making me do this?

Jenn: I know it sucks, but it really does help.  The salt water doesn’t kill off the germs, per se, but it makes your throat an inhospitable environment for the growth of bacteria.

Nate:  *shiver* Forget bacteria.  This is making an inhospitable environment for me.

Many firsts are exciting in life:  first time rolling over.  First step.  First piece of chocolate.

First cold, however, doesn’t rank up there.  Fortunately, Buddy won’t remember this in years to come.

Yes, our son has his first cold!  He’s stuffy, sneezy, snotty, and is just generally pretty shiny in the nose, mouth, cheek area.  Poor little guy!  He’s generally not too bothered by it until the post-nasal drip forces him to cough.  The look on his face is priceless; it’s this mixture of disgust but also confusion.  “What is that awful taste?”

Thank goodness for friends and family who’ve been through this before.  They mentioned using a saline solution to help clear him out.  Helpful, but not fun.  I’ve never seen him squirm so much!  He hates that blue snot-sucker bulb thing; he starts to grimace whenever he sees it.  (Thankfully he hates the the bulb and not the one performing the suction!)  Each time we’ve had to do it, we do our best to comfort him, talk to him, tell him he’s doing a great job, then have a nice bottle of food ready for afterward.

It’s so hard to do something to your child that you know will help him, but at the same time, causes him so much anguish.

Ever since Buddy was born, I can’t help but continually note how God calls us his children.  I stop and think of my adoration for Buddy–and how I would do anything in the world for this little guy–and it sheds light on what the God might mean by calling us his kids.  And now there’s this object lesson… sometimes having to do things that suck temporarily (no pun intended), but will help in the long run.

I’m a little too drained from last night to fully unpack that thought right now, but at least the short version is:  if the analogy holds up, and God does have to sometimes take us through crappy situations because there is a good reason for it,  he sure doesn’t like having to do it.  I’d almost say it hurts him to do so. But he still cares for us, cuddles us, and comforts us in the process.

Instead of waiting until he’s 16 and learning to drive, my son has decided to start giving me heart attacks now at only 4 months old.

He has discovered rolling over.

For the past several weeks, Buddy has been seamlessly rolling from back to front.  Nearly every time I put him down on his back, he winds up his little legs and throws himself onto his belly.  At first, he hated being on his belly; he’d roll over, discover his new position, then start crying.  I imagined the internal dialogue to be something akin to, “Hey! Look what I can do!  . . . oh crap.”

He’s better on his belly now, in fact, he’s pushing up, sticking his butt in the air, and quite frankly becoming awfully close to crawling.

This isn’t what causes me concern, however.  When he’s doing this by day, it’s exciting, and fun!  When he does it at night, it’s a different story.

This started about 2 1/2 weeks ago.  I put him in his crib, he wound up his little legs, and fell asleep on his belly.  With all the “back to sleep” initiatives, of course, I’m pre-programmed to freak out if he sleeps on his stomach because of SIDS.  The first night, I literally sat next to his bed for 45 minutes making sure he kept breathing.

Then he took it one step further.

On a trip to NJ last week, Buddy  slept in a hotel crib and decided he wanted to face-plant the crib!  I tried turning his head to the side a number of times, but he just shoved it back directly into the mattress.  Ugh.  So another few nights were spent staring endlessly at my son to make sure he was breathing.

There is no longer a question of whether he’ll roll over and sleep on his face; the question now is:  in what position will he end up? Sprawled flat?  Or this new position:  fists tucked by his cheeks, knees curled up under him, and his butt sticking straight up!

Crazy kid.

I’ve become more used to this now, but I still check on him multiple times during the night.

I remember thinking, when I was pregnant, that once Buddy came out, I’d stop worrying about him because then I’d *see* him.

Right.

I fear that pregnancy was just the tip of the iceberg.

Eight years ago this morning, I helped an Indian lady and her son hail a cab while I was walking to church for my volunteer day. The boy was running late for school, and I was happy to help.

It’s a random, but very vivid memory. Probably because–when I look back on Sept 11, 2001, that was the last joyful interaction I had for a while.

When I  sat down to my computer at the church office, a friend IMed me:  “OMG, Jenn, did you hear?  A plane flew into the WTC!”  It sounded odd, and I didn’t know what to make of it, until he sent me a link to a video.

I couldn’t believe what I saw.  I thought it was fake; some very cruel and distorted hoax that was propagating around the Internet.  But just then, one of the pastors rolled in a TV. . . we watched wide-eyed.  . . one tower had fallen.

Just then, my friend from London called me:  “Are you OK?  Is your uncle OK? What’s going on?”  As I was on the phone w/ her — sharing the mind-numbing moments–the second tower started to crumble.

“Ohmygosh, Rach. . .the tower. . it’s going down.  It’s…  Rach… it’s… gone.  The towers are gone.”

“They’re gone,” was all I could say for the next several minutes.  My brain was not comprehending what my eyes were seeing.

The memories from the rest of the day are equally as vivid; I’m not sure they’ll ever fade. I remember what I was wearing.  I remember all the people who called our church trying to find out the status of friends who worked at the Pentagon.

I remember fielding calls from those individuals (who were, thankfully, safe) trying to help them get home, or find a place to stay until they could get home.

Playing call center was a huge responsibility because most phones and all cell phones were down, so people in DC and Arlington had to wait in tremendously long lines just to use a payphone, so for many, this was their *one* call.

At the time, I lived in Vienna, Virginia–about 12 miles from the Pentagon.  That night, I sat on my deck overlooking what was normally very busy road.

There was silence.

No cars. No people.

Even the skies were dead quiet, which made the sounds of military air craft all that more jarring.

This was 8 years ago? It may as well have been 8 minutes ago for how well I remember the day.

I’m so thankful that my friends and family who worked at and near both sites were safe, but my heart still breaks for those who can’t say the same.

Although I’m now 8 years and 1,600 miles away from 9/11. . . and even though the sun may be shining, there will always be a cloud over this day.

Nate and I getting married was the worst thing that could have happened to our dads’ health.

At least, that’s our current hypothesis.  Or maybe it was just our move to Colorado?  Let’s take a look at the time line:

May 2007 — Nate & Jenn tie the knot.  Health abounds!

July 2008 — we make the big move 1,600 miles west.

July 2008 — Nate’s dad, Mike, is diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  Chemo begins.

October 2008 — My dad is diagnosed with prostate cancer

February 2009 — Mike gets a clean bill of health, and my dad’s PSAs are dropping well.  Yay 2009!

March 2009 — Mike’s cancer returns.  Bone marrow transplant is on the horizon.  Booo 2009!

June 2009 — Mike gets a bone marrow transplant.

July 2009 — My dad gets knee-replacement surgery.

August 2009 — Health is being restored; both dads are looking good!

August 25 — Mike is in a nasty car accident (not his fault) and gets a compressed fracture in his lower lumbar.  Three months in a back brace.

Nate, Buddy & I went down to visit Mike in the hospital yesterday along with the rest of the family (yep, it was a crowded little room!  Mike, 1 wife, 4 kids, 3 kids-in-law, and 3 grandkids).  It was amazing, though; Mike and Susan both had their same steady outlook as did the rest of the family.  Hamel humor in hard times still amazes me.

On our ride home from the hospital yesterday, Nate said, “You know, I really wish our dads would stop trying to out-do each other. Man, they’re so competitive.”

Guys, can you call it a draw?

Okay, okay, so my friend Caroline called me out and thought I might be the first to respond to this.  I’m going to wake up Buddy at 8 am, so my goal is to see if I can complete this in 7 minutes.   haha  Wish me luck!

INSTRUCTIONS:

If you’ve been tagged or you are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging 25 other victims. You have to tag me so really you just need 24 more people. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you – but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your title as “Getting to know each other!”, tag 25 people including me (tagging is done in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
2:30 am and 5:30 am

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
“Away we go”

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Getting into “Mad men.”  Also like: Friends, Scrubs, Psyche, Burn Notice, 30 Rock

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Wow, tough one; right now, I really like living in Denver. Living near family is wonderful!  But I miss the DC area too. I hear Hawaii is nice.  And the California wine country sure is beautiful.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Kashi GoLean Crunch bar

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Korean & Mexican

8. What foods do you dislike?
Mushrooms

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
White Chocolate Grill,  Coastal Flats (*sniff* I miss that restaurant!)

10. Favorite dressing?
Asian sesame dressing

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Honda Accord

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Shorts & tank top

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Greece, Hawaii, Jerusalem, Italy

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Um… I can’t find the cup 

15. Where would you want to retire?
Somewhere warm

16. Favorite time of day?
Mornings — especially before Buddy wakes up

17. Where were you born?
South Dakota

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Football! (Even if the Broncos aren’t looking too solid this year)

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
My mom

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Everyone

22. Bird watcher?
No

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Morning person

24. Do you have any pets?
Nope!

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
Nothing right now; the most exciting news lately is sleeping upstairs

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
Astronaut or Broadway star

27. What is one of your best childhood memories?
Christmas mornings as a kid; it was like magic the way all the presents appeared on Christmas morning!  (Although I distinctly remember one Xmas eve when I heard Santa drop something and curse.)

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
Could go either way, but I probably lean toward cats.

29. Are you married?
Yep! 

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Absolutely.

31. Been in a car accident?
Yes

32. Any pet peeves?
Complainers & whiners

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Fresh Mozzarella, basil, pepperoni

34. Favorite Flower?
Daisies, white roses, red tulips

35. Favorite ice cream?
mmm… anything with big chunks of chocolate (like cookie dough or Oreo cookies)

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Chik Fil A  or Five Guys

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
Once

38 From whom did you get your last email?
My sister

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Williams Somoma or any other cooking-focused store

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Answered this questionnaire

41. Like your job?
Yep to both jobs:  PM and Mom.   (The latter is a little more fun though haha)

42. Broccoli?
Yes

43. What was your favorite vacation?
My honeymoon in Banff Canada

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Can’t remember dinner, but lunch was my sister, aunt, mom, cousin, niece & Buddy.

45. What are you listening to right now?
Buddy fussing; my time’s waning!

46. What is your favorite color?
Every shade of blue

47. How many tattoos do you have?
None

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
Can’t count. . . trying to finish before Buddy wakes up!

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
8:04 am  (ooh… 4 minutes late.)

50. Coffee Drinker?
Occasionally. . .more so since the little guy came along!

Our “chill child” is warming up.

The once calm kid is now getting easily frustrated; the good sleeper is growing restless at night.  I don’t know what changed, but it’s quite tiring.  On the plus side, it has brought out some new and creative ways to entertain him when he gets fussy during the day.

Last night, Buddy was acting hungry and grouchy, so I found myself singing to him.  I wasn’t singing lullabies or kids songs; I don’t know any of those.  So, I just went with what I knew, and the first song to come out of my mouth was “Shake your groove thing.”  I don’t know why that song came to mind; maybe it was the way I was moving his arms and legs.

Anyway, when I realized that I didn’t know any other words to that song, I shifted gears and broke into new songs; low and behold, it was working!  He started smiling, shaking his legs and arms on his own, and appearing much happier.  Going with that cue, I turned on the Comcast 80’s channel and started to sing to anything that came on.

This morning, after a painfully long night of very little sleep for all of us, I pulled out the songs again.   Hopefully I’m not scarring his musical taste for life, but right now. . .it’s working.    In light of all this, I thought I’d share Buddy’s favorite dance tunes so far.  These are the songs that have made him smile and shake the most:

5) “Maniac”- Michael Sembello (yes, I moved his little feet a la “Flash dance.”  I think I laughed more that than he did!)

4) “Every little step I take” – Bobby Brown  (I was shocked, and a bit saddened, that I remembered these lyrics so well)

3) “Glory days” – Bruce  (his Great Uncle Scott, will be proud)

2) “Kiss” – Prince (He really perked up at this song!  I’m wondering if it was the groove. Or maybe the crazy falsetto that I had to sing!)

1)  “I will survive”  – Gloria Gaynor  (sung a capella by yours truly; he loved all the arm movements!)

While making Buddy dance, he learned all the key moves that anyone in a respectable night club should know:  the sprinkler, driving a car, and — of course — “making pizza!”

Not that I mind busting out the 70s and 80s tunes to entertain our son, but it’d be nice if he returned to his chill state and started sleeping 5 1/2 hours at night again.   I’m sure this stage will pass.  I guess I’ve just got to have faith – faith – faith.

At 6 weeks old, this kid has gotten around.

So far, Buddy has dined at 3 restaurants (not including Starbucks), attended 3 birthday parties (one at a public pool), and has graced a number of family gatherings with his presence.   In addition to all his socializing, Nate and I usually take Buddy on evening walks, so he’s not unaccustomed to the outdoors.  Yesterday, however, was his first trip to the *high country.*  (Well, higher than where we live.)

In celebration of “Colorado day,” all the state parks were open for free!  We took advantage of this and went up to Eldorado Canyon State Park near Boulder, CO.  We found the one stroller-accessible route, then hit the trail.  What a gorgeous day!  Buddy fussed a bit; I don’t think he was used to being in a stroller on unpaved roads, but he mellowed out quickly and enjoyed the views.

For the first time, he saw rock climbers, steep canyon cliffs, and even a butterfly that landed directly on his stroller.  (I didn’t have the camera ready.)

I wish all Mondays were this nice.

The previous day was fun as well.  We went up to my parents’ place to celebrate my grandpa’s 84th birthday.  My dad & grandfather roasted a delicious pork tenderloin, and we all enjoyed each others company; I love that the in-laws in our family get along.  It’s such a blessing!

Here are just a couple pictures from that day.  Short blog today.  No set plans, and  Nate’s home today, so I’m going to try to clean the house.  It’s driving me nuts; it looks like a paper mill and laundromat threw up in our living room.  Wish me luck!

The pork is served. . . a lovely birthday picnic in my parents' back yard

Buddy getting sleepy on Nana's shoulder

It’s quarter to three, there’s no one in the place
Except you and me
So set ‘em’ up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We’re drinking my friend, to the end
Of a brief episode
So, make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

3 am feedings.

This seems to be a right of passage for every new parent.

When does the passage end?

It’s funny, I’ve gotten so used to Buddy  being such a chill baby.  For the most part, he eats regularly, poops & pees as he should, sleeps well, and — over the past few weeks — he has been sleeping longer hours at night (up to 5 1/2 in one stretch!).  What a treat!

So, the days (and nights) when Buddy acts like a *regular* 5 1/2 week old baby, it really throw off my game.  Tonight we’ve been up every 2 hours, and he’s been *sucking* down food like there’s no tomorrow!  Of course, this happens on the night Nate’s on shift.   ahh well.

Maybe it’s a growth spurt?   Maybe I did something wrong?   Maybe he has colic?  Maybe. . . he’s just 5 1/2 weeks old.

Ahh, perspective.

On a separate note, Buddy got to meet 2 more of his great grandparents yesterday!  My dad’s parents are in town for a bit, and it was really nice to see them.  They were incredibly excited to meet their new great grandson!   As I was getting Buddy ready for the trip,  I told him about what we were going to do that day and who we were going to see.  When I told him about the new family he’d meet–I realized that he actually has 5 living great grandparents!  Wow, that’s pretty amazing!  What a lucky kid!

Speaking of family, tomorrow (or, today, rather) we’re heading back up for a big family dinner, which will include all 4 of Buddy’s grandparents, 2 great grandparents, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, and my brother-in-law’s parents (who have always felt like adopted in-laws to me; they’re great people).  Given all that. . .I don’t think I’ll be holding my kid much tomorrow.      S’all good. This is the reason we moved back to Colorado in the first place. . .family!

Well, I think I’ll try to get back to sleep now.  4 hours and 10 minutes until Nate gets home. . . but who’s counting?