Drum roll please

“Aunt Jenn, your belly looks like a drum.”

This is the greeting I receive from my delightful 3-year old niece each time I’ve seen her for the past month! It’s adorable.   (Her comment, not my belly.)

I mostly agree with her, although I think my belly looks more like an alien pod.  Some strange little being has taken over my insides–so much so that the other day, after having some lunch, I heard and felt the food digesting a bit.  You know how this *should* feel, right?  Somewhere in your stomach area, you feel a gurgling as the food gets processed.

Well, I felt the gurgling on my sides!  Where my waist used to be!  I was alone at the time but couldn’t help but laugh out loud.  My intestines are on my sides!!  How freakish is that?

The event reminded me that I am truly in the final stretch of pregnancy; T-minus 13-ish days until Buddy makes his debut!

In the mean time, I feel pretty good. I’m tired, large, and I grunt each time I get up, sit down, or try to put on shoes.  I’m having a few contractions each day, but nothing too painful or consistent; the docs say it looks like I’ll be right on time.

So, since all signs are healthy, and I still presumably have a few weeks of freedom left, I’ve been doing a lot of my favorite things that might be put on hold for a while after Buddy comes:  meeting up with friends, taking naps, and. . .of course. . . playing drums.

Yep! Believe it or not, I finally had the opportunity to play drums at church again!  A few months ago I decided it was time to take a hop of faith and introduce myself to the music leader (Dave) at church.  Since then, I met up with him for an informal jam session, after which I was scheduled to play last Sunday, May 31.

I nervous beyond belief!  Not only had I never played w/ anyone in the band, but I had also never played in front of a church of 700-ish people!  The band didn’t rehearse prior to Sunday; Dave simply sent me the song list, a few mp3s, and rhythm sheets.

The people in the band are amazing; a number of them play at different churches or are paid professionals.  So for this team, not rehearsing before Sunday isn’t a big deal.  They get their music, look it over, play through the song once, and they’re good to go!  For me, I’m used to running through the song–in its entirety–at least 5-6 times before it’s “show time.”

I could go on about how different this experience was than my 6 years of playing at Ambassador, but in short, the most important part was exactly the same:  I had a blast.   It was so much fun to play and be an active part of leading the congregation into worship.  I can’t wait to play again!

One funny, and rather unexpected moment arose when the Associate Bilingual Pastor got up to do announcements after the first 2 songs were complete.  He said, “Wow, the band sounds amazing today.”  He gave a shout-out to the 5 female vocalists and mentioned how beautiful their voices were, then he said, “And how about our mom-to-be on drums?”  The congregation cheered!   I blushed like nobody’s business.

Nate couldn’t be there because he was at work that day, but I was glad my mom was there; it was nice to share that morning with her.  (Thanks for coming, Mom!)

Although playing drums will be on hold again for a little while, I look forward to getting on the regular rotation some time this fall. . . you know, after Buddy comes. . . and my belly no longer looks like a drum.

A hop of faith

At 6 months pregnant, I really shouldn’t jump. That’s what the books say.

They also say I shouldn’t start anything new; I have enough new and big changes coming my way.

Over the last several months, however, I’ve felt aimless.  There are potentially dozens of reasons for this, but one of the big ones, I’ve come to realize, is that I miss ministry.  I miss being a part of a church community that wants to love people, help people, and bring the hope of Christ to those who are hurting.

Before moving to Colorado, I was intimately involved at Ambassador Bible Church.  I was a part of the church staff, played drums in the band, started and led the women’s ministry for 8 years, helped start the single’s ministry.  .  . the list goes on.  Ministry became an integral part of my identity, how I thought, and how I functioned. Although I have enjoyed the “break” since last summer (it is nice to not be at church every Sunday morning at 8:30 to set up the drums), I’ve come to realize how  James 2:14-26 resonates in my life.

A portion of that passage reads: “ You see that faith was active along with [Abraham's] works, and faith was completed by his works . . . You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone. . . . For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”

The passage does *not* say that we have to work our way to earn God’s favor, but rather that good deeds and works should be an overflow of our faith. We have gifts and talents for a reason; they are created to bless other people and show them the hope that Christ brings. If we are not putting our faith into action, what good is the faith at all?

Right now, I feel like my faith isn’t doing much. It is chillin’ in its recliner, watching sit-coms, and getting a little pot-belly.  I don’t want to go back to “uber-stressed-out-ministry Jenn,” but I do want to to find a niche where I can serve and get some muscle back on this little faith of mine.

All that brings my to my jump.

Nate and I have been attending Colorado Community Church since we moved here, and the more I get to know it, the more I feel like we will make it our home.  It’s a larger church than I’m used to, and it has taken a while to meet people, but the heart of the church and the leadership is clear, and I’m on board.

I have been reticent to jump into anything new because, well, I do have a few changes coming soon.  But I realized last week–after jamming for all of 3 minutes at Guitar Center–that I sorely miss playing drums.  Singing worshipful songs at church is great, but it’s so much more amazing when I can express that worship through hitting things.   Nah, seriously, playing drums has become a form of worship, and I miss being a part of a talented like-hearted band that plays during services.

So yesterday, I took my jump.  I went up to the band leader (an extremely talented man whose voice sounds a lot like James Taylor), introduced myself, and asked if I could come hang out at a practice some time.

I’m going next week. (eek!)

Why does this feel like such a huge jump?  I’ve clearly taken bigger leaps of faith in my life.  Playing drums should be easy right?

Nope. I think that every time there’s something new God wants  me to try, there’s at least a bit of nervousness, apprehension, and a good dose of insecurity.   If those weren’t there, then I wouldn’t need to rely on God at all; I wouldn’t pray, and I wouldn’t see him work through those insecurities.  It wouldn’t require faith.

So, I’m calling this the “hop of faith,” for a couple reasons:

1) It’s a relatively small jump compared to past leaps.

2) My faith’s little leg muscles need to work up to “jumping” again.

3) I shouldn’t jump. I’m pregnant.